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The Shy Entrepreneur

Describing yourself as ‘shy’ can limit opportunities.

I met an interesting entrepreneur a few months ago at a business luncheon. She is a personal life-coach, an author and I enjoyed the way she was able to articulate her particular spin on life. We were having a lively conversation. She impressed upon me the need to ‘be quiet’ and ‘to listen’ to clients. 

Then, she described herself as ‘shy’.

Shy can be a negative word in business; defining someone who is anxious, awkward, fearful, inhibited or timid. But, shyness can also be related to other traits such as being discreet, self controlled, thoughtful, and sensitive.

      ~So, what did she mean when she described herself as ‘shy’?

Shy people are often sensitive people, and tend to like doing things by themselves. They can become stressed trying to function around too much noise and too many people. To be socially introverted (or shy), does not necessarily mean you don’t like people, it likely means you prefer fewer close relationships rather than a large circle of acquaintances.

In a work situation, both introverts and extroverts perform their job duties with commitment and confidence. After work, being exhausted from a full day, even some extroverts will avoid socializing, shopping and other activities. Being ‘quiet’ or ‘recharging’ is not being shy, nor is it something to apologize for.

Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D, author of ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’, reports that ‘shyness’ is manifested from childhood. Parents can decide that the quieter child, overshadowed by the others, is shy. Once labelled as ‘shy’, a child will place themselves in that box because it is safe -and it makes sense. Referring to themselves as shy can be a self-fulfilling; living in other people shadows and confusing feelings with self-esteem.  

Stanford University hosted a psychological experiment where they recruited women who described themselves as ‘extremely shy’ and others who were ‘not shy’. The women were placed in a study supposedly about noise bombardment. Many of the shy individuals expected to be stressed and overwhelmed by the noise.  When conversing with men in the loud environment, the shy women believed that their pounding heart and racing pulse was due to the loud background noise. They had become less shy because they had assumed there was another reason for their reactions; interaction with the opposite sex. Interesting, the men involved were unable to distinguish the difference between the imposed labels of ‘extremely shy’ from ‘non-shy’. 

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In feng shui, you may recall, I talk about matching people and their strengths with the right job description. ‘Shyer or quieter’ individuals have the same opportunity to climb the ladder of success. In business, extroverts can be inclined to over-react or rush through tasks, while introverts know when to back away from drama to keep sane.

Quieter people have finer tuned observation skills and can choose when to step in. They arbitrate conflict with statements like; “We can finish this discussion later.” Or, ‘Should we talk about this when you are not so busy?”

Introverts need to learn how to handle noise and chaos if they anticipate becoming stressed in certain situations. 

Their tips for example:

• If the convention hall is to too loud and rowdy, mingle with a few people you’re comfortable with; rather than feel pressured to ‘work the room’.
• If you need to address an issue at work, it may be better to meet with smaller groups than with a single large group. (This doesn’t necessarily translate to ‘shyness’, it may simply be good judgement regarding how to address the situation.)

Before you describe yourself to others as ‘shy’, try out some other words:

distinguished, cultured, stylish, classy,

well-grounded, philosophical, idealistic,

realistic, perceptive, analytical, sophisticated,

intuitive,

refined, mature or eccentric.

It is okay to be ‘quiet’ and excuse yourself from activities that are stressful.

By using another word to describe quiet behavior, one that promotes confidence and self-sufficiency will give you more power, than suggesting shyness.

You may still believe you are shy, or have shy tendencies, but choosing to label these traits, in terms of positive values, may give you the confidence, and the edge you need to step out of your box. 

~Kathryn Wilking

Http://kathrynwilking.com

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Kathryn Wilking is an Author, Home Stager and Feng Shui Consultant. She works with Home Owners and Small Businesses to find prosperity in each situation. Kathryn delivers ‘Practical Solutions for Life’ through The ONE-ROOM Rescue™ and unique personality profiling with the Fantastic 5 Elements!

Have you cleaned up the desk, set goals, and still blocked in your work? It could be something very simple that is blocking your progress; Feng Shui can see through clutter.

Receive monthly tips and free insight from Kathryn, with the Art of Balance on the website: kathrynwilking.com Kathryn is an active Professional Member of the International Feng Shui Guild, available for private consultations, innovative talks and workshops. kathryn@kathrynwilking.com

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About Kathryn Wilking

Author, Home Stager, Feng Shui Consultant

Kathryn has inspired women for more than a decade to take charge of their lives; arranging their environment, home and office, to support a positive, prosperous lifestyle. She provides informative tips and talks to organizations and small groups through her Facebook Group and Blog Posts and recorded podcasts. Contact her today for more info about bringing the practical application of Feng Shui into your space.

Her book, Practical Feng Shui for the Office; never goes out of style!
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